


My Neighbor Sousuke

by souri



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, university!au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-21 15:25:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2473133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/souri/pseuds/souri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when he’s about to forget about his first love: Makoto encounters an unexpected predicament. His first love is now his new neighbor! Will Makoto once again run away or will he face his problems head on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Ah, it’s getting late. I should head home now. I’ll see you guys in class tomorrow!” Makoto says as a barrage of awes attacks him as he scurries home.

 _Aww, why do I always do this to myself? City people are scary; I’m too easily peer pressured…_ Makoto lets out a discontent sigh as he makes his way back to his apartment.

Today marked his first month in Tokyo; thus, his kind classmates invited him, or dragged as the more precise word, to a goukon. Makoto found himself awkwardly shifting in his seat more than half the time as women continued to flirt with him. To be honest, he had no interest in women. He had always been attracted to men as long as he could remember. He was just too much of a wuss to decline his classmate’s invitation.

He slowly opens his door to the dark abyss he calls home. His eyes automatically direct to the scene in front of him. He stands in the genkan; motionless, wondering what the hell had he been doing with his life. There lie mountains of clothes, bottles, and papers everywhere.

 _Maybe I should’ve gone to Haru’s after all…_ He had been too busy adjusting to the city life that he never had the time to tidy up. He shuffles his feet through his trash landing face first into his bed. _Is this what they call ‘wallowing in self-pity’? What would the people at my college think of me if they knew the ‘true’ me?_

He lets out another sigh. There were only two people in this world who knew about _that side_ : Haru, his best friend since preschool and _him. If I drag out this first love any longer, I’ll never be able to move on… But I guess I still carry a slight ounce of hope he’d come back into my life…_

* * *

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

Makoto slowly opens his eyes to a faint sound. The sun shines bright through his curtains as he lazily rolls onto his side. Not wanting to get up, he assumes the sound isn’t for him.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

Again, the sound rings throughout his apartment. He turns his body again to glance at his alarm clock. 6:57a.m it reads. _Who could be knocking at this ungodly hour? Nagisa and Rei aren’t supposed to be here until later this afternoon…_ Although, Makoto was normally an early riser, today was an exception being a day off. He shifts in his bed as he stuffs his face into his pillow. _Maybe if I wish hard enough, they’ll go away…_

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK_

_...I didn’t think so either._ He groans as he starts to get up. He quickly fixes his hair and heads out of his bedroom.

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK_

“Coming,” he shouts as he finally makes it to his front door. _Thank god I decided to clean up last night; this place was a complete mess. But who in the world is–_

“Mako chan ~~~!” a pair of tiny arms pulls him into a hug as he opens the door.

Makoto eyes widen jolting back a little. “Nagisa, Rei. You guys are extremely early,” he says as the smaller one of the two visitors lets himself in.

“Sorry for the intrusion Makoto senpai,” Rei bows and adjusts his glasses in an upright manner. “Nagisa kun was so excited to visit you, we ended up arriving early.”

“Ah, it’s fine. I’m just a little surprised. Here, come inside Rei,” Makoto says directing Rei into the vicinity of his home. “You guys should’ve called me first though,” Makoto laughs as he rubs the back of his neck.

“But Mako chan, it’s already been more than a month! I really wanted to see your place,” Nagisa whines as he spreads himself out on Makoto’s couch.

“Nagisa kun, please be more proper. That’s not beautiful at all,” Rei comments as he takes a seat on the ground in front of Nagisa.

“That’s not what you said when I was spread out in bed yesterday Rei chan~” Nagisa purrs. He pokes his index finger at Rei’s nose, teasing the blue haired man.

“N-Nagisa kun!” Rei stutters as his cheeks turn a rosy red.  Nagisa curls his fingers loosely through Rei’s hair- who had face palmed from embarrassment.

“Okay, I think I’ve heard enough,” Makoto whines. He awkwardly places glasses of water on the table next to the more embarrassed one of the two.

“So how’s school been Mako chan? Tokyo’s a lot bigger than Iwatobi so it’s probably really scary huh?” Nagisa says as he flips onto his stomach letting his legs swing back and forth in the air.

“It’s been okay,” Makoto sighs, taking a seat next to Rei. “The work is, of course, a lot harder, but everyone has been very kind so far. I actually attended a goukon yesterday…”

“But aren’t you-“ Rei gasps.

“Yes. It’s as Nagisa said. Tokyo is a scary place. Although the people at the uni may be kind, they still are pushy. I couldn’t bring myself to say no…”

“Oh Mako chan… You need to be more aggressive! You’re too nice sometimes,” Nagisa pouts.

“He’s right Makoto senpai. Don’t let people push you around,” Rei frowns crossing his arms.

“I’ll keep that in mind, but it’s hard. Haru has always been a sort of shield that weeded out unwanted people. I miss having him and you guys around,” Makoto sighs.

“Speaking of Haruka senpai, isn’t he supposed to coming over today as well?” Rei asks.

“Yes, he should be here around 9- shortly after his joint practice,” Makoto says. “In the meanwhile, do you guys want to eat breakfast? It's only 7:10 after all,” he smiles.

“Yes please!” Nagisa chirps raising his right hand up.

* * *

_KNOCK, KNOCK_

“Coming!” Makoto says rinsing the last dish in his hand. He opens the door and is greeted with an all-too-familiar dead pan face. “Aw, welcome Haru chan,” he smiles.

“Drop the chan already,” Haru huffs as he makes his way into the apartment. He takes off his shoes in the genkan and heads straight to Makoto’s living room.

“Hehe. Sorry, force of habit,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck again.

“Where are Nagisa and Rei?” Haru asks panning around the room. ‘ _He actually cleaned up_ ,’ Haru nods his head approvingly. 

“They had to leave early. Nagisa started getting frisky to the point where Rei caved and decided to leave. I think it was the best for solution for everyone involved…”

“Those two never change…” Haru exhales.

_THUNK, THUNK_

The sound of furniture being moved echoes through Makoto’s apartment. _The walls are a lot thinner than I thought._

“What’s going on next door?” Haru asks staring outside the window.

“It must be my new neighbor. I think they just started moving in today. My other neighbor recently got evicted for not paying his bills. He was such a nice guy too. But it’ll probably be noisy for the next couple of hours I think. How about coming with me to say hi?” Makoto softly smiles tilting his head to the side.

“As long as I get mackerel for lunch,” Haru says sporting his usual poker-face.

“Of course,” Makoto replies, giggling into his cuffed hand.  

As they made their way outside the door- Makoto scopes around for his soon to be neighbor. He spots someone behind the enormous moving van. Despite, only being able to see the back of his neighbor’s body, Makoto was already blown away. _Wow, he’s huge. Probably even taller than me. Great body too._ Said neighbor was a tall muscular dark haired Adonis- as Nagisa might say (or Makoto would secretly say). He wore a police uniform that was tight in all the right places. From the back of his body alone, Makoto could already tell from afar that this man was a handsome. His upper body was muscular; His biceps shaped nicely into his short-sleeved shirt. Whoever his neighbor was, Makoto prayed to the gods above that he was also attracted to men.

Makoto makes his way down the stair case first while Haru trails behind silently. As he approaches the Adonis, he couldn’t shake this feeling of having met him before. Taking a better look at his neighbor, Makoto began to grow suspicious. _Wait, why does he look so familiar?_ That’s when said Adonis turned around that it hit Makoto like a ton of bricks.

“Makoto…” they whisper. Thin lips parted; Teal eyes widen.

And that’s when the year of suppressed emotions rushes through Makoto faster than he could say,

“Sousuke…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! This is my yaoi fanfiction, so I hoped you liked it thus far! Please like, comment, and don't be afraid to correct my grammar (gently of course). Thanks again! Ciao♡
> 
> Here's a translation key for those who don't know:  
> goukon: group dating  
> genkan: traditional Japanese entryway areas for a house, apartment, or building—something of a combination of a porch and a doormat.


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s been awhile hasn’t it? How have you been?” Sousuke gently smiles. He’s still as attractive as Makoto could remember. He’s even a few inches taller than him now. Sousuke still has his signature short brown hair, defined biceps, and droopy teal eyes- eyes that Makoto knew all too well. Makoto feels flushed just standing a mere five feet away. All his past memories rush through him so quickly that he merely stands there in shock.

Haru doesn’t quite know what is going on due to Makoto’s enormous body blocking his view from seeing the new neighbor. He looks up at Makoto who was still as an iron post. He can sense the awkward atmosphere between the two from Makoto’s body language alone. It was a little odd for such a friendly guy like Makoto to be so tense. Haru decides to squeeze himself next to Makoto, but stops upon seeing the face of the new neighbor. “Yamazaki,” Haru says indifferently.

Sousuke’s face immediately drops and his voice quickly changes tone, “Nanase. I see you’re still hanging around him, Makoto.”

“Aw, Haru,” Makoto stiffly says snapping back into reality. Makoto knew of the past tension between Sousuke and Haru over Rin; However, Haru had never gone into in-depth detail about it with him. He knew that this meeting was just reopening old wounds for everyone. He decides to break the ice by asking, “Haru, you remember Yamazaki san right?”

“More than I liked to,” Haru scoffs.

“Well he seems to be my new neighbor.”

“Ah, so you’re my neighbor?” Sousuke sounds a bit too ecstatic than Makoto expected. “I’m glad to know it’s you of all people,” his face returns to his former gentle look. At this point, he was at least two feet away from Makoto and inching in closer as they spoke.

“What made you come all the way to Tokyo?” Makoto asks slowly backing away as he notices Sousuke inching in. _I don’t understand. How could he be so normal after everything that’s happened between us?_

“Straight after graduating I enrolled into the Tokyo police academy. I opted out of living in the dorms because it was cheaper to rent an apartment. Normally you are required to, but I had special permission due to my shoulder’s medical bills already killing me.”

“Wow, so you no longer swim?”

“I think it may be impossible at this point,” Sousuke looks dejected. He notices Makoto make a ‘puppy-just-got-kicked-face’ and immediately tries to lighten the mood. “I’m glad to see you doing well. You’re looking as great as ever.”

Makoto blushes a scarlet red and stutters, “T-thank you. You look great as well. I am a bit shocked to find out you’re my neighbor though…”

“Me too. It must be fate then,” Sousuke chuckles.

“Yeah, it must be…” _There’s no denying it. Even after all this time, I’m still in love with him._

Haru takes this opportunity to squeeze in-between the two and shove Sousuke away from his blushing best friend. “Stay away from Makoto if you know what’s good for you, Yamazaki.”

“Haru, what are you sa-” Makoto starts.

“The tables have turned quite a bit, haven’t they Nanase?” Sousuke chuckles.

Haru scoffs and turns his attention back to Makoto- who is at a loss for words.  “Makoto I think we should go back to the mackerel before it gets cold, don’t you think?”

“Right Haru chan… Sou- I mean Yamazaki san, I’m sorry we disturbed you. You must be real busy unpacking. Haru and I will head back up now.” Makoto says again, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about it. It was nice seeing you again. Oh, and please, call me Sousuke like before. We’re not strangers remember?” Sousuke smiles.

“Ah, right. Call me Makoto then. Sorry again and see you around.”

“I’ll be sure to,” he smirks, walking back to his moving truck.

*** 

 “Care to explain to me why you were so awkward out there?” Haru says frying the mackerel in a pan. He was already stripped down into his swim trunks wearing an apron he borrowed from Makoto. He turns to Makoto who was fidgeting and playing with his fingers on the couch. “Well?”

“Haru, I can explain. It’s a long story with a complicated past…” He answers, twitching as Haru gave him a stern look.

“Why haven’t I heard about this before? I never knew you and Yamazaki were so close as to already call each other by first names.”

Makoto sighs heavily as he lay back on the coach putting an arm over his face. “I know. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but you were so busy getting ready to become a pro that I thought it was unnecessary…”

“Makoto, I never thought of your personal problems as unnecessary. You know you can always come to me when you need someone to talk to right?”

“You’re right. Sorry Haru…” Makoto sits back up as Haru brings a plate of mackerel to the table.

“Please tell me what’s going on.”

Makoto let out a strangled-sounding groan as he starts his story.

\---

It all started last year: Makoto’s third year of high school. He had meet Sousuke through Rin- who was his best friend. In the beginning, the two did not have much interaction at all. It was all a freak accident that they finally crossed paths outside the swimming pool. Makoto was on his way home when he realized he had forgotten to feed the cat behind the old post office. After stopping by the convenient store to pick up food- he was utterly shocked at his findings.

There sat Yamasaki Sousuke feeding the very cat Makoto normally feed on his way home. At this point, Makoto couldn’t decide what he should do. _Should I back away or join them_? He thought. That’s when Sousuke noticed Makoto standing there.

He quickly stood up and said, “Ah, sorry. Is this your cat? It was meowing an awful lot that I decided to feed it. Sorry if I over stood my boundaries.”

Makoto stood there in awe. He blinked, “Oh no it’s fine. That’s actually not my cat. I just happen to feed it every day after school. I almost forgot today, so I ran back to buy food. I’m glad you decided to feed him though,” Makoto smiled, tilting his head to the side.

Sousuke eyes widened as he turned his head to the side, “It was nothing really…” He tried very hard to conceal his blushing face.

Makoto chuckled, “Thank you, Yamazaki san.”

“Hmph,” he took a seat on the bench behind me. Looking back at Makoto, who was standing there awkwardly, he asked, “Where are you headed now?”

“I was about to head home. How come?” Makoto tilted his head to the side.

Sousuke cleared his throat, “Mhm. I know we’re just acquaintances, but would you like to catch some dinner with me?”

Makoto eyes broadened, “Are you asking me out on a date already Yamazaki san?” Makoto teased.

“Is that a yes or a no?” Sousuke huffed.

“I’ll be happy to accompany you to dinner,” Makoto smiled extending a hand out to Sousuke to help him up.

‘What an angel,’ Sousuke thought.

And that’s how the two became friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope my chapters aren't too short... I hope you enjoy them though! Btw, I added more notes under chapter one because I made a blunder. I forgot to add translations for the Japanese words. If you already know them though, feel free to skip over.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kudos though! Until next time, ciao!♡


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lengthy chapter coming along! Ah, first time writing smut too. I hope it was okay... Let me know what you guys think and I may add more to the end haha Oh also! I edited the first and second chapter a little (grammar and such). But thanks again for all the support! Please continue to read, comment, and kudo (^_^) Until next time! Ciao♡

\---

It was another relaxing Saturday morning when Makoto heard a ‘ping’ sound come from his phone.

<< _Hey Tachibana! You busy? There’s a concert going on tonight near Samezuka. Wanna join me??_ >>

Makoto smiled as he read the text. Lately he had been hanging out with Sousuke. On days like this, he would normally spend the night at Haru’s, but Haru seemed to be busy with his own thing. He had been meaning to tell Haru about his outings with Sousuke, but he thought it was unnecessary; He didn’t want to distract his best friend at this crucial time. He quickly texted Sousuke:

<< _Sure, I’d love to! (o^^o)  Is it ok to meet @ the Iwatobi Station in 20?_ >>

<< _Sure. I’ll see you soon;)_ >>

Makoto couldn’t help but giggle at the text. He couldn’t shake this bubbly feeling every time he hung out with Sousuke. It was like his heart was about to pop any second. ‘Is this what they call falling in love?’ he thought. He hadn’t seriously liked anyone in his life before. Of course, there were exceptions. He was always physically attracted to beautiful men, but none of them had even made him swoon like Sousuke did. It was probably because Makoto never had the guts to talk to them.

Sousuke was a breath of fresh air though. Sousuke was not only handsome, but sweet to boot. Makoto was extremely intimidated when he first met Sousuke; however, after the cat incident, Sousuke had shown a completely different side of him that Makoto would have never expected. He was kind, sweet, and laidback. It was always relaxing whenever he was with Sousuke. The problem though was whether Sousuke liked him, or even men. Makoto was absolutely terrified of rejection; He never quite had the balls to tell anyone expect Haru that he liked men. Sousuke was no expectation. Although, he was kind, Makoto knew Sousuke would probably react a lot stronger than Haru. Haru accepted him wholeheartedly, much to his initial thoughts.

Yet, even being accepted by his best friend wasn’t enough. Makoto couldn’t fight the feeling of loneliness. He just wanted someone to love and to love him- romantically to say the least. Was that too much to ask for? Maybe. It may even be wishful thinking that Sousuke even liked men at all… To that, Makoto sighed. _I really want to tell him, but I don’t want to get hurt…_ And on that note, he decided to finally run down to the station.

***

“Ah, Yamazaki san!” Makoto called out. Sousuke was sitting at a bench listening to loud music. He didn’t hear Makoto until he saw him from the corner of his eye.

“Aw, Tachibana. You made it,” he smiled. He got up and Makoto instantly turned a light shade of pink.

‘He looks really good tonight…’ Makoto thought. Sousuke was wearing a tight black shirt that hugged his chest and showed off his defined biceps. He wore slim jeans that shaped his ass real nice- much to Makoto’s enjoyment- and a pair of red and black shoes.   _I think I may have died and gone to a Sousuke heaven…_

“Tachibana, you okay?”

“Just…fine,” he gulped. _I hope I’m not drooling too much._

“Let’s get going,” Sousuke said turning his back to Makoto as he started walking out the station.

 _That body should be illegal…_ Makoto stared down, not-so-discreetly at Sousuke’s ass.

When they arrived at the concert, they were greeted with an extremely long line. It was already loud and Makoto wondered where all these people came from; Iwatobi was a small town after all.  It took a good thirty minutes to get in, but luckily Sousuke had good connections- they were able to get middle seats.

It turned out to be a mild rock concert to a group Makoto had no idea what their name was. The music was pleasantly good. Sousuke seemed to be enjoying himself and that’s what Makoto cared about the most. Most of the concert Makoto would turn his head to gaze long and hard at Sousuke. At one point, he was caught in his act when Sousuke quickly whipped his head to Makoto. Makoto would’ve died from embarrassment if it wasn’t for the concert hall being so dark; you couldn’t really tell he was blushing like a maniac.

After the concert ended, Sousuke invited Makoto to sleep over at his house. It was about a fifteen minute walk from the concert. Makoto knew this dangerous, but it was already late; the trains had already stopped by now. He warily accepted the invitation and they started their walk to Sousuke’s house.

When they arrived, no one was home. Sousuke explained how his parents were off on a trip for a few weeks and how they were never home anyway. He frequently had the house to himself. This made Makoto even more nervous as he started fidgeting in his seat.

“You need to chill,” Sousuke laughed.

“Eh?”

“You look like you’re about to have a panic attack. Are you okay?” Sousuke gave him a concerned look.

“Y-yeah. Just a bit nervous. I’ve never slept over at anyone’s house besides Haru’s.”

“Ah, I see. Hmm,” Sousuke rummaged through the fridge. “Mm, what about some drinks to cool your nerves? Unless you’re too much of a goody-two-shoes for that of course,” he smirked.

“N-no! I’ll try it, but I have a feeling I’ll be a light-weight…”

“It’s okay, you can lean on me if you feel like you can’t walk straight,” Sousuke chuckled.

That night, Makoto was drunk for the first time.

“Y-Yamazaki sannn. Are you supposed to feel this g-giddy after drinking?” Makoto hiccupped.

Sousuke’s laugh roared through the room. “Tachibana, you only had one shot of vodka and you’re already out? Haha. You are a lousy light-weight aren’t you?”

“S-shut up. This is all your fault! Plus, you're pretty drunk yourself!” He toppled onto Sousuke as they landed on the floor. “You’re just too damn handsome.”

“Wow," he whistled. "Alcohol brings out the swearing in goody-goody Tachibana huh?” Sousuke laughed, “Now get off of me, you’re heavy you know.”

“Nooo. I like it hereee,” Makoto whined.

Sousuke sighed, “You’re quite the handful as a drunk aren’t you? Ugh, I'm starting to feel the buzz now too.”

“Mhm,” Makoto started nuzzling his head on Sousuke’s shoulder as they lay on the ground.

Makoto tried to move up, but his and Sousuke’s legs were tangled among each other’s. Instead, while moving his head, Makoto’s lips were almost met with a certain teal-eyed beauty’s. Their faces were so dangerously close now that they could feel each other’s heartbeats and breath.

“Tachibana…”

“Call me Makoto,” Makoto whispered. He ran his right hand down Sousuke’s chest. Sousuke groaned at this action, but did not make an attempt to stop the brown haired angel. “Yamazaki san. Yamazaki san,” he murmured.

Sousuke leaned towards Makoto’s ear and said in a low voice, “Sousuke.” That alone sent shivers down Makoto’s back.

“Sousuke,” Makoto said barely audible. He touched the other’s cheek, bringing Sousuke’s face closer to him. “Sousuke, I like you,” he breathed.

Sousuke inhaled and grabbed both sides of Makoto’s face. They were sealed in this position for about ten seconds before Sousuke decided to crash his lips onto Makoto’s. Not knowing what to do, Makoto let Sousuke lead. Sousuke quickly turned Makoto onto his back, so that he was on top. He never stopped kissing Makoto as he ran his hand inside and up Makoto’s shirt. When he found the other’s nipple, he decided to tweak it a bit before running his finger into circular motions around the areola. Makoto let out a soft muffled gasp as Sousuke did this. In reaction to this gasp, Sousuke took this as an invitation to slide his tongue into Makoto’s mouth.

“Mmmm! Sousuke. Sousuke!” Makoto yelped in between kisses. He could already feel himself getting harder the more Sousuke grinded on him. Getting impatient, Sousuke broke the kiss and peeled Makoto out of his shirt. He threw it on the ground along with his own shirt. He attacked Makoto’s neck by first sucking near the indent of his ear then trailing down it with light kisses.

Makoto thrashed, gripping onto Sousuke’s hair. He grinded up, trying to feel Sousuke’s erection with his own. Sousuke stopped at Makoto’s nipple and gave it a playful lick. Makoto let out a loud gasp gripping tighter. Sousuke smirked at this and continued to lick and suck Makoto’s nipple.

“Sousuke! Aah! Mmmn!” Makoto let out a loud shriek when Sousuke fondled with his penis through Makoto’s jeans.

Sousuke bent back down and whispered, “Do you want me to stop? Because if we continue, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop later.” He nibbled Makoto’s ear, biting the outer shell.

“N-no. But please be gentle S-Sousuke,” he whimpered.

“Of course,” Sousuke smirked, undoing Makoto’s belt, “Just let me know if you feel uncomfortable then we’ll move to my bed.”

Makoto panted as Sousuke removed his jeans. Sousuke palmed the outside of his underwear where his erection was continuing to harden. Sousuke briskly bent down to bite at the erection.

Makoto let out a soft moan to which Sousuke asked, “Is it okay to take off your underwear?” He smirked, continuing palm Makoto’s penis from outside his underwear. Makoto shyly nodded.

Sousuke quickly tore the underwear off and his head was again back in-between Makoto’s thighs. He grabbed onto the base of Makoto’s cock and stroked it ever so slowly.

“Mmmn, Sousuke,” Makoto moaned grinding his hips up following the rhythm of Sousuke’s strokes.

Sousuke let out a chuckle and gave the shaft an experimental lick before kissing it gently. He dragged his tongue along the slit, licking it playfully. He finally took the tip into his mouth continuingly licking the slit and jacking off the base. At that, Makoto screamed, squeezing Sousuke’s head with his hands.

Sousuke smirked, finally taking the whole length down his mouth. He used his free hand to grip and massage Makoto’s balls- much to Makoto’s liking. He bobbed his head up and down as Makoto lightly thrust up into his mouth. One hand over his mouth and the other on Sousuke’s head- Makoto was moving his hips uncontrollably. It wasn’t until Sousuke’s free hand- that was on his balls, moved to his anus, teasing the outside. Makoto bit onto his hand, not wanting to scream any louder.

Sousuke noticed this and swiftly grabbed Makoto’s hand, “I wanna hear you,” he murmured.

“Mmm, this is so embarrassing,” Makoto whined, closing his eyes shut.

“Shh, don’t worry. I’ll take great care of you.” With that, Sousuke resumed deep-throating Makoto. It was more intense now as the hand jacking Makoto off squeezed tighter than before. He sucked and licked continuing to give an amazing fellatio. Sousuke could tell Makoto was nearing close as his thighs started to crush Sousuke’s head in.

“I-I’m coming! Aah! Aaah!” Makoto screamed spilling his seed into Sousuke’s mouth. Sousuke kept his mouth on Makoto’s penis until he accumulated all the cum into his mouth, then swallowed.

He wiped off the remaining cum with the back of his hand and smirked, “That good?”

“Y-yeah. Very,” Makoto breathed out. He was tired and was beginning to doze off.

“Hey now. I still haven’t cum yet,” Sousuke said pushing his hips down on Makoto. He leaned down to Makoto’s ear and whispered, “I wanna be in you.”

Makoto let out an incoherent sound, “S-Sousuke.” His eyes were droopy, but he still felt giddy from the alcohol.

“What do you say?” Sousuke voiced lowered.

“S-sure.”

With that Sousuke promptly threw Makoto onto his shoulder and headed to his bedroom. He dropped Makoto onto his bed and said in a low voice, “I’ll be gentle I promise.”

Makoto nodded still not realizing what his actions were leading to thanks to the alcohol.

Sousuke slipped out of his jeans and hovered over Makoto. He leaned down and whispered, “Makoto, I love you.” Makoto’s eyes widened. “I’ll make love to you tonight.” Makoto exhaled heavily as he looked up at Sousuke who caressed his cheek.  “Trust me.” 

That night, Tachibana Makoto lost his virginity to his first love.

***

The next morning Makoto awoke to the sound of shuffling through the room. He opened his eyes slowly to see Sousuke sitting at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Makoto shifted over to Sousuke when he realized his bottom half stung. He lifted the covers to find he was starch naked. He turned a scarlet red. 'Oh god, what did we do last night??' He internally screamed. 

He tried to recollect his memories and that's when it hit him. The “ _Makoto, I love you_ ” rang through his head. He clasped his hand over his mouth and peered at Sousuke. Sousuke's back was covered with nail markings along with a dark hickey on his shoulder. 'Oh my god! We got drunk and had sex!!'

He crawled over to Sousuke who was still in his same position. He went to touch Sousuke when the latter nearly jumped out of his skin. "Sousuke..."

"Makoto..." He replied staring at Makoto's angelic green eyes. 

"What wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I made a terrible mistake. I took advantage of you when you were at your most fragile state." He hung his head low trying to avoid eye contact with Makoto.

"Stop. No, you didn't. Even if I wasn't drunk, it doesn't change that fact that I like you. You even said you loved me too remember?"

"And that was my biggest blunder," Sousuke said barely audible.  

"What are you saying?" Makoto frowned moving closer to Sousuke. He brushed his hand against the other's shoulder. Sousuke quickly slapped it away.

"I'm saying I don't love you! This, us, was all a mistake! Don't you understand Makoto, we were both drunk for god sakes?! And to top it off, you're a man! I can't, I'm sorry!" He yelled. His face was red and his eyebrows furrowed at Makoto. 

Makoto sat there in silence- eyes widened, "I-I.. umm," he stuttered, voice cracking as he was on the verge of tears."I-I'm sorry..." He whimpered. 

"Don't apologize!" Sousuke shouted. "Look, this was my fault for getting carried away in the moment. I just- Please just leave Makoto. My head's too messed up right now." He face was again in his hands, not daring to look at Makoto's crying face. 

Makoto quickly got dressed, despite the strain his body felt and proceeded to leave. He turned to Sousuke one last time and said, "I'm truly sorry..." He bowed and made his way back to his apartment. He cried himself to sleep, not ever wanting to confess to someone again.

That day, Tachibana Makoto's heart was broken for the first time. 


	4. Chapter 4

Haru remains quiet as Makoto continues his story. Makoto could tell that Haru is silently fuming by the way Haru furrows his eyebrows. Haru keeps his fists clenched as he stares down at Makoto’s feet.

“H-Haru, are you alright?” Makoto asks slowly reaching out to touch Haru’s hand.

“I’m fine. Continue. I want to know what happened after he rejected you. I never asked you this before, but is he the reason why you moved to Tokyo?” Haru’s voice is faint.

Makoto slowly nods, “Yes, he’s partly the reason... But my decision was based mostly on my own interest in becoming a firefighter….”

“Hm,” Haru mumbles. “Tell me more about it.”

Makoto gulps. He has never told anyone the real reason for deciding to move to Tokyo; He felt his nerves slowly building up. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Well, it was a few weeks before we went to nationals. After that night, Sousuke never contacted me again. During joint practices, he wouldn’t even spare me a look. He looked utterly disgusted with me. Everything slowly went back to normal; we were strangers again. I guess that’s why you never noticed my anxiety. You never knew I was hanging with Sousuke in the first place too. No one knew or would’ve known of our past together. I kept this a secret from everyone, including you Haru. It wasn’t until the both of us patched things up that I decided to come out to everyone. For not telling you anything else, I’m sorry Haru.”

Haru frowned. His face washed with worry, eyes gleaming and mouth dropped. “It’s okay, I understand. I was too focused on figuring out my own dream that I didn’t think to consider what was happening in your life. Is that all that happened?”

Makoto shuts his lips into a thin line. “No,” he spoke softly. He stares at the ground with his hands cuffed together between his knees. “Prior to the nationals, I saw him walking home with a girl. They were holding hands underneath an umbrella. Later that week, I found out she was his soon to be fiancé. His parents had arranged an omiai for him. Soon after, I decided to give up on him completely. He wasn’t gay and he never would be. They looked so happy I just couldn’t deal with the hurt anymore…”

Small tears dripped from Makoto’s face, “Haru, I don’t know what to do anymore,” he trembled. His voice cracked as he put his face into his hands. Haru immediately crawled over to his best friend’s side. He gave Makoto an awkward hug. Makoto was taken aback by this and cried even more, “H-Haru…”

“Shh. It’s okay,” Haru rubbed Makoto’s back in gentle circular motions. “Look Makoto, I don’t think it’s a good idea to associate with Yamazaki. He’s not only hurt you, but had the audacity to act like nothing happened earlier!” Haru’s voice raises as his face turned redder. “I know you guys are neighbors now, but try to stay away from him as much as possible! I don’t want you getting hurt again. If anything happens again, please tell me first.”

Makoto sobs into Haru’s shoulder, clenching his shirt, “Thank you Haru…”

“It’s nothing…”

Makoto knows he should follow Haru’s advice, but it hurts. His heart hurts. His head hurts. Everything hurts. All the good times he’s had with Sousuke replays in his mind: the late morning brunches, the late afternoons beach adventures, the late night movie dates, and of course the soft, “I love you.”

***

The buzzing sound of his alarm wakes Makoto up from his deep slumber. After Haru left yesterday, Makoto didn’t dare to step outside his apartment. He was too scared to face Sousuke now, looking back at all the damage the latter had done. Rethinking this whole situation, lots of questions arose when he got up. _What happened to his fiancé? Shouldn’t she be living with him as well? Or did I just miss her… Did they even get married? I don’t recall Rin going to any weddings lately…Oh god, I don’t even know._ Confused, Makoto decided to drop it and get ready for school. He brushed his teeth, styled his hair, and changed his clothes.

He was a routine kind of man, always stopping by the same café by his apartment to eat breakfast before class. As he turns to lock his door, he was met with a familiar face in a police uniform. ‘ _Shit,’_ he groaned, quickly trying to turn so he could to avoid the other man.

“Ah, Makoto,” Sousuke calls out. “How are you? Heading to class?” he asks putting on his peaked blue hat.

“G-good,” Makoto stutters. He cautiously turns around to meet eyes with Sousuke. _Oh god, he looks good in that uniform. No Makoto, control yourself. You hate his guts remember?_  “Um, yes. I was about to grab breakfast actually.”  Makoto wanted to cry inside realizing his blunder. _Shit Makoto, why’d you say that? What if he follows you?_ He could already feel the sweat dripping along the side of his face.

“Oh great, mind if I join you? I was heading down for breakfast to,” Sousuke smiles.

 _What do I say? What do I say??_ Makoto could feel his face getting redder as his body starts to warm up. _Just make up an excuse. Yes, that should work._ “Actually I.. Ummm…” _I’m stammering already!_

“Hm?” Sousuke smiles as he steps closer to Makoto. His teal eyes scan up Makoto’s body, stopping at his face. They lock eyes before Makoto freaks out.

“S-sure!” Makoto blurts out. He regrets his words instantly, softy cursing. _No Makoto! You let yourself get strung along by his eyes..._ Makoto decides that if Sousuke’s going to act like nothing ever happened between them, he’d do the same.

“Great, let’s get going.” Sousuke heads down the stairs first. It reminds Makoto of the good-old-days when Sousuke would lead and Makoto would always get a nice look of his ass. _Some things never change…_

They stop in front of the café Makoto frequently visits; He wonders how Sousuke knew about it since it was in a pretty secluded area. Deciding to brush it off, they are quickly seated and that’s when things become awkward. Makoto takes the coffee in his hand, playing with the handle. He doesn’t dare look up at Sousuke, who is obviously watching him.

It remains dead silent until Sousuke decides to break the ice. “So how has school been? You go to Todai now right?”

Makoto nods, finally looking up at Sousuke. Sousuke has his chin rested on his palm, staring at Makoto. Makoto takes this chance to scan Sousuke’s hand. _No ring…_ Trying to be discreet, Makoto slowly looks back down, “Y-yes. I’m training to be a firefighter, but I’m getting all my pre-reqs done first.”

Sousuke laughs, “I can imagine you climbing up trees trying to save kittens like the old days.”

Makoto blushes and again, looks back up at Sousuke- who is smiling with his eyes. _God, is he cute…_ “What about you?” Makoto squeaks. “I know you’re in the police academy, but weren’t you engaged back in high school? Where’s your fiancé or is she your wife now?” he stiffly asks. 

Sousuke’s face hardens at that. His smile drops as he gazes out the window. “We didn’t work out. Stuff happened and I broke it off with her.”

Makoto doesn’t show it, but he was secretly beaming inside. _So he’s single now? No, stop Makoto. He’s not a good guy and you know it. Haru would be very disappointed in you. Speaking of Haru, I have to tell him about this later…_

“Makoto.”

“Y-yes?” Makoto replies, snapping his head back to Sousuke.

Sousuke stays still for a few seconds, hands cuffed together, twiddling with his fingers. He finally speaks up, “About before... I’ve always wanted to sincerely apologize. I left you in the dark and never spoke to you again. I’m honestly sorry. You shouldn’t have apologized and I told you that. Anyway, I was a jerk, I know. But seeing you again, I want to start over. Start fresh. As a friend, if you’ll have me,” he peered at Makoto with pleading teal eyes.

Makoto was certainly taken back. He is of course suspicious because he doesn’t want to get involved or hurt by Sousuke again. He contemplates for about a minute before he draws a conclusion. He sighs and starts, “I-I’ll be your friend… But on one condition.” Sousuke looks hard at Makoto. “We never speak of our past or the romantic feelings I used to hold for you.”

Sousuke nods, smiling sadly, as though he wanted more.

_I still love you Sousuke, but I can’t let myself get carried away like last time. I won’t ever let you hurt me again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for all the comments and kudos thus far! I hope you enjoyed this chapter ^_^ The next one will be in Sousuke's POV, so stayed tune! Ciao!♡
> 
> Key:  
> Omiai: Arranged Marriage  
> Todai: Short for Tokyo University (Tokyo Daigaku)


	5. Chapter 5

Sousuke watched as Makoto made his way out of the café. _I’ve finally found you Makoto. Nothing’s gonna to get in my way now._ He knew it would take a while for Makoto to trust him again, but he was too ecstatic to even care. Makoto didn’t want to talk about the past? So be it. _I’ll just be sure to take advantage of our little reunion._

Sousuke’s ringtone goes off, signaling that a certain deed has been done. “Well?” his voice was low.

 “ _Tachibana sama has made it safely to the destination_ ,” the other line informed.

“Good work,” Sousuke says hanging up the phone. He smirks as he walks back to his apartment in triumph.  Truthfully, Sousuke didn’t even have any classes today. He just wanted to see Makoto again. He already knew Makoto’s schedule like the back of his hand. His connections were on point; He could easily access anyone’s information if he really wanted to. Alas, his only goal was Makoto. It has always been Makoto, since the day he regretted everything. _I wish I could go back in time and restart those days. I just want you back in my arms Makoto…_

***

"I'm truly sorry..." Makoto bowed, making his way out of Sousuke’s house quickly. Sousuke sat there motionless, wanting to run after Makoto. _It’s for the best…_ He closed his eyes shut. _Lies. They’re all lies._ He could feel himself wanting to cry, but he couldn’t. _I am in no position to cry. Makoto is- and he did. Ah, fuck. Why did it have to come to this?_

“Why did I have to fall in love with him?!” he shouted, kicking his trash bin over. _If only I could be true to my family: true to Makoto. Then maybe I’d be happy._ He continued to kick and throw things as he goes on a rampage. _I had to have the luck of growing up in a foolish yakuza family that doesn’t really give a shit about me. I want to be with Makoto, I really do. But it’s a farfetched dream that I know can’t become a reality in my homophobic fucked up family. Fuck, why did they have to say that?_

_\---_

A few weeks ago, Sousuke’s parents visited from the main house. It was odd for Sousuke since they were never around. They preferred the more extravagant yakuza house than the one in Iwatobi. Sousuke only stayed in this house on the weekends and holidays, preferring the dorms. It was a usual Saturday night when Sousuke was approached by his parents. “Is there a problem?” he asked looking up from his phone.

“We need to talk,” his father sternly said. He was wearing a jet black suit and was clearly carrying a gun in the back of pants pocket.

“About?” Sousuke cocked an eyebrow and proceeded to sit up straight.

“Lately, your mother and I have noticed you spending an excessive amount of time with Tachibana kun.”

“And? How is that a problem?” Sousuke gave them a confused look.

“I’ll get straight to the point. Sousuke, do you like men? Are you dating Tachibana kun?”

Sousuke sat there stunned. _How the hell did they find out?! Am I that obvious?_

“Please say no Sousuke,” his mother pleaded, tugging on Sousuke’s sleeve. “You’re going to be the successor of the Yamazaki clan. You’re our only son. There’s no way, the clan will accept someone who’s gay as their leader. They’d ridicule and shun us out of our positions. Please Sousuke, think about your family!” she begged.

 _Well where the fuck were you guys when I fucked up my shoulder?!_ Sousuke was mentally drained and beyond pissed. Not only did they insult him, but they also had the audacity to say they’re a family! He shut his eyes, not wanting to deal with this. He wants to come clean- to come out, but he already knows what consequences will come of it. His family would definitely try to do something to Makoto. And no way in hell is Sousuke dragging his angelic friend into the ruthless yakuza world.

“Sousuke, please answer us!” his mother was already clinging to him, but he continued to stay silent.

His father started to get fed up at Sousuke’s deliberate defiance. “Stay silent all you want, but it’s been decided. We’ve already set a date for an omiai for you with a woman from another clan. You are getting married this summer Sousuke.” His father walked out in rage. His mother followed shortly after.

“Fuck!!” Sousuke proceeded to punch a hole in his wall.  

\---

Sousuke woke up the next morning feeling groggy. His room is a mess and he doesn’t feel like going back to the dorms today. He lay there, recalling last night. The night he let Tachibana Makoto walk out of his life… He heard knocking on his door. He peered out his windows and saw a young girl. Maybe two years his junior. _Fuck… That’s right, she’s supposed to visiting today: Rie from the Awakawa clan.  I really don’t want to deal with this shit right now. I already have so much on my plate. I’ll just pretend I’m not home. Everyone else is at the main house anyway._

After a few more sharp knocks, she decided to leave. Sousuke takes another good look at her before she is escorted to her car. She has beautiful long black hair wearing a black and pink yukata. Her face looks decent and if Sousuke was interested, maybe he could fall in love with her.

“Fall in love huh?” He scoffed. _I messed that up already._ He lies back in bed when his phone goes off. He looks at the caller I.D: Dad. _Shit. He’s probably on my ass for not seeing her, isn’t he?_

“What?” he said rolling his eyes.

“Open that damn door for her and get this omiai over with!” his father shouted, promptly hanging up the phone. Sousuke’s ears rang after throwing his phone. He sighed, defeated. He knew not to mess with his dad when he’s angry like this. He finally gets off his bed and proceeded to meet his future wife.

“Fucking hell,” he cursed.

***

It’s been about a week since Sousuke let go of Makoto. He and his now fiancé are doing well, better than he had expected. He can’t quite get over Makoto though. He knew it’s going to be awkward for Makoto when they meet for a joint practice today. Sousuke decided that it may be best to pretend they had never met. Maybe if Makoto falls out of love with him, he could do the same.

He reached Iwatobi High School with the rest of Samezuka and is instantly drawn to Makoto. Makoto doesn’t look at him, but Sousuke could already tell he wasn’t his usual happy self. He wanted to go over to hug and comfort Makoto, but he knows he can’t. _I need to let go…_ When everyone heads to the swimming pool, Sousuke caught Makoto staring at him. Sousuke glared and Makoto quickly turned his head. ‘I’m sorry Makoto…’

After practice he goes to meet his fiancé. She held an umbrella, waiting outside Iwatobi for Sousuke. She smiled up at him when she saw him walking towards her. She’s a little too short for Sousuke, so he takes the umbrella himself, holding her close to him. They walk home together in the rain like that.

It wasn’t until a week later, when Rie tries to initiate a kiss that Sousuke freaks out. He apologized to her and she undersands.

“Yamazaki san. Do you even like me by any chance?” she asked.

Sousuke’s jaw dropped. _There’s no way she could’ve noticed. I thought I had been doing a good job in forcing myself to like her?!_

“Yamazaki san. Do you already have someone you like?’ she whispered.

Sousuke froze. _I should just come clean already shouldn’t I?_

“I always notice how miserable you are with me. I can tell that you’re faking.”

Sousuke sighed in failure, “You’re good, you know that?” She smiled. “I- shit, I don’t even know where to start. But yes. To answer your question, there already is someone else. I’ve been in love with him since the day we started hanging out. But I was an asshole and I let him slip away. I knew my family would never accept us, so I stopped before I even tried. I thought if I forced myself to forget by liking you, maybe even falling in love with you, I could move on. But I’m a fool. I hurt him and I probably even hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Rie sighed and hugged Sousuke. “I’m glad you told me all that,” she said. “My suspicions were right and you are in fact gay. I was beginning to fall in love with you, you know? But alas, I knew falling in love with a gay guy is absolutely futile.” She lets go of Sousuke, tippy toeing, reaching to pet his head.

“I’m sorry Rie san. I think we should break this omiai up before you get in too deep. I wouldn’t want you to waste your time on a hopeless gay guy like me,” he smiled softly.

“Yes, it’s for the best. I truly enjoyed our time together. I hope everything works out with that guy.” She grabbed Sousuke’s shoulder down and gave him one last goodbye kiss on the cheek. “How was that?”

Sousuke felt bad saying this but, “It felt like kissing my aunt... I’m sorry.”

Rie giggled as she let go of Sousuke, “Hm. Thought so. Good-bye Sousuke.” She turned around quickly leaving. Sousuke could see the tears drip from her face as she ran out his house.

 _I think I’ve done enough in a life time. I’ve already broken two hearts. I should try to mend one back._ He sighed, crashing onto the couch. _Now to explain this to my dad. Fuck. I’ll give Rin a call first. He must be worried. I haven’t been at the dorms for days._

He pulled out his phone, dialing Rin’s number (the only one of two numbers he remembered. The other one being Makoto’s.)He sits up patiently waiting for his best friend to pick up. _Rin is probably furious being left in the dark like this…_

“ _Yes asshole? Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. I thought you might have gotten shot by a yakuza or something,_ ” Rin answered. Sousuke knew Rin was probably worried sick, but that sly asshole was probably more mad than worried at this point.

“I’m sorry. Shit happened and now I want Makoto back.”

“ _What the fuck happened?”_

“I ended my omiai with Rie today. And now I’m trying to figure out how to explain and come out to my parents.”

“ _Sounds like you’re in deep shit man. You should’ve told them before your damn omiai!_ ”

“I couldn’t and you know that Rin! I tried hard to fall in love with her, but I couldn’t. I’m too in love with Makoto.”

“ _Shit man, I didn’t even fucking know you had a thing for Makoto. You know he’s leaving for Tokyo soon right_?”

“Are you fucking with me?” _Makoto’s trying to run away, isn’t he?_

“ _Of course I am.”_ Sousuke rolled his eyes; Rin’s voice screamed sarcasm.  “ _Look, if you feel so strongly for him, you better tell your family. You can’t just run off with him and expect everything to be okay. Your family’s the fucking yakuza. Think about the impact it’ll have on Makoto’s life if you just run in. Hell, I don’t know what the hell happened between you two, but you better get your shit together before making a decision_.”

“I know Rin. I’ll- I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“ _Good. Now please remember to inform me about these things Sousuke. I’m getting fucking tired of being left in the dark_.”

“I’m sorry Rin. I’ll be sure to call you more often.”

“ _You better. Good luck and see you later_.”

Sousuke hung up, anxious about tomorrow. He knew that his father will probably blow up at his face, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to be with Makoto. He ended up trying to call Makoto, but the line seemed to be disconnected. “ _Makoto, you can’t run away. I won’t let you. I’m ready to throw everything away for you. You will become mine_ ,” he thought darkly.

***

The suspense was killing him. His parents were standing there silently, furiously to be exact. A few moments ago, Sousuke had just confessed his sexual orientation and his cancelled omiai. His parents, mainly his father, were beyond pissed.

His father finally spoke up, “You have shamed us. I no longer want to associate with a ‘gay’ son. Please get out of my house and never come back. The Yamazaki clan will want nothing to do with you,” he spat.

Sousuke’s mother tried to calm him down, but it’s not use. “I’m sorry Sousuke. I’m sorry I raised you like that,” she cried.

Sousuke was now the one pissed. _How dare you say I shamed you and it’s your fault I’m gay?! I’m fine with leaving this fucking shitty place anyway._

With that, he made his move to Tokyo in search of Makoto.

\---

Sousuke remembers that day quite well. The day, all of his family turned his back on him. The day, he decided to become a police officer. The day, he joined another clan as a resource. The day, he called Gou to find Makoto’s address. The day, he made his new clan evacuate Makoto’s neighbor, so he could move in. And the day, he accepted his corrupt and obsessive personality. He remembers all too well.

_Makoto, you will be mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, that was hard to write haha I hope that wasn't hard to read. In between the dashes is another flashback in a flashback. Wah, confusing! haha Asterisks are the same old, changing scenes. Anyway, did Sousuke's personality surprise? Let me know what you thought about this chapter below ^_^ Until next time! Ciao!♡


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for patiently waiting for this release. I have been in the midst of editing; I have made quite a few edits in the earlier chapters (1-5) to make this story flow better. I noticed it was hard on the eyes to read the flashbacks in italics, so I changed it to normal text for easier viewing.
> 
> Updates will be a tad slower; I'll try for once a week (if I have the time). I have to prioritize my time with college for the time being (exams are coming up). Hope you enjoy this chapter though! I enjoy reading everyone's comments *^_^* Ciao!♡

Lately, Makoto has been running into Sousuke more frequently. It started out with simple coincidences like going to the café before their classes or leaving their homes at the same time to the grocery store. As of late, the coincidences have been every day. Recently, Makoto found out Sousuke finishes his classes the same time as him. Their schedules seem to be in sync – too much to Makoto’s liking.   _I feel like he’s everywhere… How do I expect to avoid him if I keep running into him??_ Ever since Makoto reunited with Sousuke, he feels as though he’s being watched. Every turn and every move he makes, he swears he sees sketchy looking men in suits observing him. _Maybe I’m just crazy…._ He brushes off his suspicious thoughts and keeps telling himself that it’s all just in his head.

Makoto is on his way home, stopping by the café, as usual, for a late lunch (early dinner). Haru is supposed to visit later tonight, so Makoto can fill him in on these strange coincidences with Sousuke. Makoto has been meaning to tell Haru sooner, but he got swamped with homework and didn’t have proper time to explain his ordeal.

When he finally makes it to the café, he is not surprised to find Sousuke already settled in the booth (they recently have always sat in) when he walks in. They have been having this unplanned “late lunch, early dinner” meet up for the past few days. Makoto has been trying his best to avoid Sousuke, but his efforts had been futile. He just loved this café too much to change his habits.

Sousuke spots Makoto right away and waves at him. “Makoto, over here,” he shouts. He smiles as Makoto makes his way to sit in front of Sousuke.

Makoto smiles faintly, trying to figure out how to tell Sousuke they’ve been seeing too much of each other lately. He doesn’t want to be rude, but how did he expect to not fall in love with this ‘I’ll break your heart then beg for your forgiveness’ type of man at this rate. He knows he has to stay away, but these meetings are starting to really hinder his plans of avoidance. _I really need to say something…_

Sousuke watches Makoto closely, noticing Makoto daze off into his own world. He takes this as an excuse to grasp a hold on Makoto’s right hand. Makoto yelps in surprise and quickly tucks his hands underneath the table. Sousuke frowns at this action.

“Sousuke…san. H-how was school?” Makoto stutters, his face burning up still feeling the heat of Sousuke’s hand on his.

Sousuke smirks and replies, “Same old, same old. Morning drills, martial arts, and homework. Didn’t you already ask me this yesterday?” he snickers.

Makoto blushes a bright cherry color, “Well, I don’t know what else to talk about!” He says, hiding his face in his hands.

Sousuke grabs hold of one of Makoto’s forearms and cuffs hands with him. “Now, now. No need to be so embarrassed,” he says slyly.

Makoto shrieks in response and tries to pull his hand away from Sousuke’s grip. However, Sousuke is far too strong and Makoto is left a whimpering mess.

“Could you please let go of me Sousuke san?” Makoto whines.

“Not until, you drop the san from my name. What did I tell you about being so formal?” Sousuke smirks.

Makoto exhales a deep breath and whispers, “Please…Sousuke…”

Sousuke lefts go of Makoto’s hand slowly, letting his fingers linger on Makoto’s a little longer until the other pulls back completely. “You’re no fun,” he playfully pouts.

Makoto takes this chance to finally say, “Sousuke… I have something to ask you…” his tone drastically changing with his demeanor.

“Hm, and that would be?” Sousuke asks leaning in toward Makoto.

“What do you want to get out of this relationship?” he quietly asks. “I know I said not to mention the past, but we’ve been seeing each other a lot these past two weeks. I don’t think my heart can take it anymore. This reunion alone is already painful for me.  I doubt that we could ever revert back to how we used to be. If you’re just playing with my feelings again, I don’t want to be lead on. I would rather us end it now.”

Sousuke sits there dumbfounded. He never thought in a million years Makoto would have it in him to say these things. _Oh how you’ve changed, my sweet Makoto,_ he thinks.He examines Makoto’s appearance before deciding to respond. Makoto’s hands are shaking and he’s biting his bottom lip. He looks like he’s about to cry which triggers something in Sousuke. Something that makes him almost break. Almost. He’s close to telling Makoto the truth, but decides against it. _He can’t know. He’ll reject me for sure. All of my hard work will go to waste._

He closes his eyes, recalling the morning he screwed up everything. _I should really tell him. It’s Makoto after all; He’ll understand. But no, I might lose him again. That can’t happen. I won’t let that happen. You aren’t running away from me again Makoto. You are mine._

Sousuke’s eyes are dark, face scowling. Makoto wonders if he had made a mistake, and is on the verge of tears. Makoto recalls that night, that morning again. He wants to run away and hide in his room. He tries to get up, but Sousuke quickly grabs his wrist and pulls him back down to sit.

Sousuke’s hand is still gripped onto Makoto’s wrist as they’re quiet for another ten seconds. Sousuke finally speaks, “Makoto. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve never wanted to hurt you. I’ve let you walk out of my life once; I don’t want to lose you again. Back then, I was stupid. You mean so much to me, that I would never think about playing with your feelings,” he confesses.

“Then how do you explain that day?” Makoto whispers. “You clearly said we were a mistake. I’m a man after all Sousuke. What made you change your mind?”

Sousuke opens his mouth, but pauses. _What do I tell him? I can’t tell him I was in a yakuza family. And I definitely can’t tell him I’m in another clan, so I can keep an eye on him. Shit._ Sousuke chooses to leave out details and spare Makoto from his ugly past, “My parents… didn’t quite approve of us. Even as friends, they thought I was gay for you. Before that night, they confronted me about you, but I didn’t deny or affirm anything. That’s when they threw the omiai at me. Back then, I couldn’t stand up to them, so I lied to you. I thought the best thing to do was to let you go.”

He grabs both of Makoto’s hands and pulls them to his face- like he’s pleading. “But I’ve regretted it. I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you. Makoto, I know you probably don’t feel the same for me anymore, but please. Even if we start off as friends and go on little dates like before. It’ll be enough for me. I want to make things right this time around. I just want you back in my life. Please Makoto,” he begged.   _I hope this is working. Even if he were to say no, I will find him and make him mine._

Tears drip from Makoto’s face. He chokes on his tears as he begins to speak, “Is that all true?” he says softly. “Have you always loved me?”

“Yes, that why I-” Sousuke quickly shuts his mouth. _Shit. I almost told him that’s why I moved next door. But he can’t find out. He can’t find out that past._ “That’s why I wanted to see you again. I ended up coming out to my parents and moved to Tokyo. I wanted to find you, but it seemed impossible. It worked out so well when I found out you were my neighbor. It was fate that brought us together.”

He wipes away Makoto’s streaming tears as the other recomposes himself. Makoto is now sitting there in awe. He can’t believe Sousuke confessed all this to him. He wants to believe his words, he really does, but the past just lingers with him and he can’t forget. He wants to trust Sousuke, but he doesn’t want to get hurt again. Haru’s advice rings in his head, stopping him from his train of thoughts.

_I should stay away. I know it’s the right thing to do. Haru’s right; Sousuke’s probably just charming his way into my life again. But his story seems all too real. What if he really did love me? What if he really did leave his parents in order to be with me…? It all seems so farfetched, too good to be true. Aw, Makoto, he’s staring at you. He’s waiting for a reply…_

Makoto takes in a deep breathe. _I know what I have to do…_ “Sousuke… I’m happy to hear that you’ve actually loved me all this time, but I wish you could’ve told me that before. You’ve hurt me to the point where I can’t let myself be comfortable with anyone anymore. I can’t trust you like I did before. I think it’s best if we continue as friends. Dating is out of the question right now, but I think maybe with time it’ll heal. I’m sorry Sousuke…” He withdraws as Sousuke slowly backs away.

Sousuke is silent, too silent. He shifts in his seat and leans back. He sighs, “Okay. You win, Makoto. I’ll settle for friends as I said before. I’m still in love with you and I don’t plan on letting you go.” He abruptly stands up and pulls Makoto up into a hug. “I guess I’ll just try harder to make you fall in love with me again then,” he whimpers into Makoto’s ear.

Makoto stumbles back, shutting a hand over his ear, “T-that’s not what friends do!” he stutters.

“It was just a hug Makoto. I won’t do anymore. I promise,” Sousuke smiles. _Anymore and I think I might lose control again…_

***

Makoto is out of breath by that time he reaches his apartment. Sousuke had a meeting with someone after their little revelation and Makoto walked home by himself. Sousuke offered to walk him back, but Makoto declined saying that he doesn’t want to keep Sousuke from his appointment. Looking a little mad, Sousuke huffed and turned to leave. As he was walking back, Makoto couldn’t shake that same feeling of being watched again. He briskly walked home, being sure not to look back. _Maybe I should’ve taken Sousuke’s offer after all…I don’t understand though. It was never this scary to walk home from the café before…_

When he finally climbs up the stairs to his apartment door, he is greeted with the usual expressionless face. “Haru chan!” Makoto runs over to Haru who turns his head to the side.

“I’ve been waiting here for half an hour. Where were you? I called your phone, but it went straight to voice mail. You better start explaining Makoto. You better have not been with Yamazaki,” Haru says gripping onto Makoto’s shirt.

Makoto’s innate reaction was to throw both his arms in the air and plead, “H-Haru, stop. You sound like an angry girlfriend…”

“I’m an angry best friend, which is almost the same. Now hurry up and open the door. It’s cold.”

“Okay, okay,” Makoto says swiftly opening the door. They take off their shoes and proceed to the couch, where Haru looks absolutely annoyed. “Haru, I can explain.”

“You were with him weren’t you?”

“Y-yes,” Makoto squeaks.

Haru deeply sighs, rolling his eyes, “Before I get any madder, please explain yourself. This better be good.”

Makoto hunches forward, twiddling with his fingers, “So lately, Sousuke and I have been seeing a lot of each other…” Haru heaves a long sigh. “Haru, you don’t understand. These meetings haven’t been on purpose. At first I thought maybe it was because we have the same schedule, but I think its pure coincidence. If I go to the grocery store, he’s there. If I go out to feed the cats, he’s there. Today, before I meet up with you, he was at the café too. I talked to him though. I couldn’t stand seeing him so much, so I asked what his motives were.”

Makoto takes a deep breath, “Haru, he’s in love with me. He’s always been in love with me. He said because of his parents not wanting to accept me, he thought it’d be better to let me go. He moved here to try and find me.”

Haru’s skeptical, squinting his eyes, “And how did you respond?”

“I said I wanted to be friends. I tried to follow your advice. I really did Haru, but he’s everywhere I go. I couldn’t forget him at this rate. Now he told me he’ll make me fall in love with him again…” Haru scrunches his forehead. “Haru?” Makoto says.

“Makoto, don’t you think it’s strange that he’s always in the same place at you?”

“I think it’s just coincidental. He was always one to feed cats and we always ate similar foods.”

“Makoto, don’t try to defend him. I’m saying this is too weird. How do you explain bumping into him at the grocery store then? I doubt he spontaneously needs to buy ingredients the same time as you,” he mutters.

 “Haru, I think you’re just over reacting.”

“Makoto, look around you. The evidence is all there. I think he remembers your schedule. You do the same thing every day anyway, so it wouldn’t be hard to figure out your routine. I know you don’t want to admit it, but I think you’re still in love with him. You’re so blinded that you don’t want to accept the idea that he may be following you. ”

“Haru, that’s not true. I think someone else may be following me though…”

“What?”

“It’s strange, it’s every time I walk to school or walk home; I feel a presence watching me. I don’t feel this way when I’m with Sousuke, but as soon as I bid him goodbye, it starts…”

“And you don’t think it might be Sousuke?”

“Haru, whoever’s following doesn’t look remotely like Sousuke.”

“Makoto, you need to open your eyes.”

“I don’t understand Haru…”

“You say you don’t love the guy, but you’re quick to defend his name. Makoto, if this keeps persisting, I’m going to take matters into my own hands.”

“Haru, please don’t hurt him…”

“ _He’ll be more than hurt once I find out who he really is…_ ” Haru thinks.

Makoto tries to divert the conversation by suggesting Haru take a bath while he grills mackerel. Haru jumps up immediately at this and heads to the bathroom. Makoto sighs, hoping Haru will overlook his situation. He truly believes that even through all the trouble Sousuke has caused him, he wasn’t the one that has been following him.

***

It’s 6 o’clock when Haru bids Makoto goodbye, heading to the pool for morning practice. As he walks down the stairs, he spots Sousuke talking to suspicious men in suits. Walking closer to the scene, Haru hides behind a van to get a better look.

He sees Sousuke hand a wad of money to one of the men as he pats the man’s shoulder.

“Good work,” Sousuke says. “Next time, follow Makoto more discreetly though. I think he’s starting to notice he’s being followed. He’s already a big scaredy cat, so don’t frighten him anymore than he already is. Don’t let yourselves be seen. That’s an order.”

“Yes boss!” all the men bow towards Sousuke.

“The Yamada Clan is very grateful to have a boss like you, aniki!” one of them says.

Haru turns around quickly, horrified at his discovery. _Sousuke’s a yakuza_?!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for making you guys wait so long! (assuming there are still some readers left... lol) But I had a major case of writers block, but now with time, I'm back with fresh ideas! Thank you to my good friend Candice♡ Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm in the midst of writing chapter 8, so that should be out in a few days. Thank you for all the support thus far! I'd like to know what you guys think. Ciao! ♡

Makoto wakes up the next morning to find that Haru had already left. Haru has morning practice every weekday from 7 am to 5pm. He sometimes stays at Makoto’s place when the other wasn’t busy, since it was closer to the gym. It’s already eight in the morning, and Makoto is wide awake. He can’t seem to forget yesterday’s conversations with both Sousuke and Haru out of his head. It makes him anxious when he thinks about encountering Sousuke again. _How will I face him now?_

Makoto’s glad his only class for today is cancelled though. He usually leaves the house around 7, but he’s happy that he finally has a day off. _I can start avoiding him now…_ He feels bad, but putting his growing feelings aside, he took some time last night to consider what Haru had speculated. Now that he really thinks about it, it really isstrange that he feels himself getting followed shortly after departing from Sousuke. _I truly believe it’s not him, but there has to be some weird correlation between these two events… But what could it be? Ugh, all this is making my head ache._ He scratches his head in frustration, but stops completely when he hears a roar come from his stomach. _I’ll look into it some more after breakfast..._

Makoto stretches his arms in an upward fashion as he slips into his fluffy bunny slippers- a house warming gift Nagisa had given him. He slowly shuffles his way to the kitchen. His mind may be awake, but his body sure wasn’t.  He begins to look through the fridge when he hears the doorbell ring.

 _Hmm, who could that be at this hour?_ He looks through his peep hole to find none other than Mr. Handsome Yamazaki. _Ugh, what is he doing here?_ Makoto groans contemplating if he should open the door or not. _I’m supposed to be avoiding him…_ The door rings another time; this time Sousuke shouts out Makoto’s name. Makoto jumps a little and looks through his peep hole once again. Sousuke is frowning- or maybe even looking a bit dejected. Makoto sense of sympathy kicks in and he starts to feel bad. _What if it’s really important?_ He finally decides to open the door as he sees Sousuke starts to pace back and forth in front of his door.

Sousuke immediately stops. “Hey,” Sousuke says breathlessly. He’s wearing a tight navy blue t-shirt and light blue capris. He’s sweating slightly as if he’s been running around. Makoto still ponders why he’s here looking so upset.

“Hi…” Makoto finally says. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in class?” he asks as he looks up in confusion.

“My class got cancelled.”

 _What? His class got cancelled? That’s strange for a police academy student…_ Makoto is beyond confused now, but he continues to listen to Sousuke.

“We usually get breakfast together, so I tried calling to ask if you were still up for some. But there wasn’t an answer… I didn’t hear you leave this morning either, so I thought you were sick or something. Are you okay?” Sousuke takes a good look up and down Makoto, stopping at his bright pink fluffy bunny slippers. Makoto turns away immediately in embarrassment when he realizes this.

 _I’m still in my pajamas!_ Makoto mentally screams. He wants nothing but to run away and die of embarrassment. “I-I’m fine,” he stutters. “My class also got cancelled today too. I was just going to stay home for today though. My phone must be dead then. I think I forgot to charge it last night when Haru was over… I’m sorry if I made you worry though, but I’m okay really!” he says waving his hands in the air.

Sousuke perks up instantly as he grabs Makoto by the shoulders and pulls him into a hug. Makoto jolts backwards a bit, but he could feel Sousuke does not want to let go. He lets himself relax after a few seconds and eventually feels nice in Sousuke’s arms. _Oh no, I’m letting my guard down with this guy again…_

“I’m glad,” Sousuke quietly says, “I honestly thought you would avoid me because of what happened last night. But I’m glad you aren’t sick either.”

Makoto is startled by these words as he continues to be held by Sousuke. He knows Sousuke must be hiding something. He knows he’s probably being lied to. He knows he should listen to Haru, but he can’t resist Sousuke… He reaches to ruffle the taller man’s hair a bit before smiling. “I wouldn’t avoid you,” he says. He giggles as Sousuke nuzzles his neck- one of his weak points.

He pulls away from him and gently grabs Sousuke’s shoulders. He sighs as he says, “I know I agreed we could be friends, but friends don’t normally nuzzle other friend’s necks Sousuke… Also, if you want me to fall in love with you again, I want to take this real slow. I just want to be comfortable with you again before I can even consider dating you. Sousuke, I feel like you’re hiding things from me and I really want you to open up with me if you really want to date me. I don’t want another repeat of last time where you really loved me, but didn’t say anything. I think I deserve more than that, don’t I?” Makoto whispers. _I don’t want my emotions to cloud my judgment…_

Sousuke stares back at Makoto, wanting to pull him into his arms once again, kiss him, and tell him everything. He sighs, once again defeated by Makoto’s words. _Knowing the truth will only make Makoto cry._ _I never want to make him cry again..._ “I’m sorry,” he starts, “I just really like hugging you, but if it makes you that uncomfortable, I’ll stop. I’ll do anything for you Makoto. I want to make things right this time. I told you I wanted you to fall in love with me again right? Please, you don’t have to completely trust me, but at least trust my words now. I love you and I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you, Makoto.”

Makoto feels himself slipping away from all his rationality as he listens to Sousuke. He wants to believe him: to trust his words. He sounds so sincere that Makoto doesn’t know what to think now. _I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster of doubt, confusion, and love._

Makoto nods his head slowly before he begins speaking, “I-I think we should go inside.  These kinds of things should be said in private…”

Sousuke follows Makoto inside to the couch after removing his shoes. Makoto makes his way into the kitchen and brings back two glasses of water. He sits relatively far away from Sousuke, but Sousuke knows not to scoot any closer to the other male. The atmosphere is so tense that you could probably slice it with a knife.

Makoto twiddles his fingers. “I-I want to trust you, I really do,” he starts. “But it’s hard to let go of the past... I need to fully trust you before we can go any further. I’m sorry, but hugs from you still make me uncomfortable. Maybe in time, I’ll be able to do that again with you. For now, please tell me one thing.”

“Yes, what is it?” Sousuke says quickly. His eyes are full of worry and fear.

Makoto deeply sighs, “Lately, I’ve been feeling as though someone is following me. It could just be me being paranoid, but I don’t think I’m crazy. It happens shortly after we part ways and I can’t put my finger on how to describe whoever’s following me…” Sousuke stiffens as he listens to Makoto. “I think once he, I’m assuming, had a suit on and if I remember correctly, you talked to some guys in suits before a while ago. I don’t want to point fingers, but do you know anything about this Sousuke? Please be completely honest with me… It’s beginning to freak me out a little…”

Sousuke is frozen as he tries to figure out how to explain this to Makoto without freaking out the poor boy. “ _This will only bite me in the ass later… I might as well come clean already,”_ Sousuke thinks. As he’s about to open his mouth, his phone vibrates in his pocket. He ignores it at first, continuing to look at Makoto, who was very fidgety at the moment. The vibrating stops and Sousuke takes a deep breathe trying to recollect himself as he tries to tell Makoto the truth.

His phone vibrates once again, making his stop before he could utter a word. He turns to his jacket pocket, pulls out the phone, and proceeds to shut it off, but Makoto stops him and says, “Maybe it’s important. You should pick it up….” He gives him a soft smile. Sousuke can’t help but smile back, all his anger slowly fading away.

“Okay,” Sousuke nods. His phone vibrates once again, alerting Sousuke that this may be in fact important. He reads the caller id: Shigino Kisumi. “ _Why the hell is Kisumi calling me?”_ Sousuke thinks. He swiftly answers his phone with a rough, “What?”

_“A~ni~ki~” Kisumi sings._

Sousuke furrows his brows at the nickname, “What do you want Kisumi? And what did I tell you about calling me that?” he spits out. He tries to keep his composure as he feels Makoto’s eyes scanning his every move.

 _“Aw, don’t be like that Sousuke! This is really important”_ Kisumi whines.

“Then spit it out,” Sousuke mutters as he excuses his self to the genkan.

The other line is silent for a few seconds before Kisumi tone drastically changes. “ _They kidnapped Haru,”_ he says.

“What?” Sousuke replies. “Who?”

“ _Your clan kidnapped Haru.”_

“What do you mean they fucking  kidnapped him?!” he hisses.

_“Apparently they spotted him watching your transaction with them this morning. They followed him to his practice and snatched him before he could even make it through the doors. They currently have him tied down in their headquarters as we speak. They didn’t hurt him or anything, but they just called me to inform you that they will not do anything else without your permission. You better go soon Sousuke.”_

“Fuck!” he says trying not to draw attention to himself. “I’ll be there in a bit. Call them and let them know they’ve made a grave mistake and I’ll have their heads for this.” Sousuke quickly hangs up and makes his way back to Makoto.

Makoto stands up from his seat and gives Sousuke a weary look.  “Is everything alright?” he asks.  

Sousuke shakes his head, ashamed at the stupidity his clan has caused. “I’m sorry, something important came up and I’ll have to take my leave now.” He walks over to Makoto and brings the other man into a hug, “I’m sorry our conversation had to be cut short, but let’s talk about this another time okay?”

Makoto nods, unsure and curious as to what Sousuke’s call was about. He doesn’t want to pry as things with Sousuke are still a little rocky, so he decides to keep his mouth shut. He’s worried, but he’s sure Sousuke can take care of himself.

They bid each other goodbye and Makoto is left alone, feeling empty as he watches Sousuke drive off. He sighs, making his way back into his home. Many of his questions are still left unanswered and he felt like he cares too much for his own good.

Makoto is now lying face up on his bed as he deeply sighed. _I shouldn’t be this worried about him. He’s a man too; he’s more than capable of taking care of himself. It’s not like I’m his boyfriend or anything…_ He glances back to his drawer where his phone laid. _Aw, I should probably charge my phone. Haru is supposed to be visiting later tonight I think._

He plugs his phone into his charger as he waits for the loading screen. It turns on after a few seconds, but it takes a bit for his phone to catch signal. Right when he is about to set his phone down, he hears multiple ‘pings’ going off at once. He almost drops his phone as he reads through his texts.

**Sousuke**

<< _Hey, I know it’s early n we left @ an awkd stage last night, but you still wanna have breakfast 2gether? >>_ 5:46 AM

<< _You there? I tried calling, but you didn’t answer…_ >> 6:28 AM

<< _Hey, it’s past 7 & I haven’t heard you leave the house yet… R you okay_?>> 7:12 AM

<< _Makoto?? >>_ 7:16 AM

<< _I’m coming over_. >> 7:23 AM

****

**Haru**

<< _Makoto! Yamazaki’s the boss of the yakuza that has been trailing you. He is nothing but a worthless liar. Be careful and get the hell away from him now! I’ll be back later tonight. >> 6:07 AM_


	8. Chapter 8

Sousuke is furious by the time he makes into the Yamada headquarters in downtown Tokyo. He barges in ignoring all apologizes coming his way. He finds the room his so-called subordinates held Haru captive. He sees Haru is lying on a couch; his legs and arms are both bided and he has a layer of tape over his mouth. Sousuke immediately eyes out the man responsible for all of this.

“B-boss I’m sorry! I didn’t know h-he was Tachibana sama’s best fri-“

Before the man could say anymore, Sousuke brutally kicks him in ribs multiple times until the man drops to the ground. Sousuke pulls out his gun from his back pocket and drags the muzzle alongside the man’s head. Sousuke clicks it off safety and the man’s whole body freezes. “You make another mistake like this again and I _will_ have your head.” The man nods vigorously as tears start to stream down his face. Sousuke locks his gun back to safety and kicks the man one last time for good measure. “Take him away.”

“Yes sir!” two more men come in and promptly drag the man out.

Haru lies there not only dumbfounded, but scared. His eyes widen as Sousuke makes his way to him. He tries to shift his body away, but the ropes bidding his arms and legs are too tight; he struggles to even move. He begins to hyperventilate upon seeing Sousuke’s hand reaching down to him- as if he’s ready to hit him. To his surprise, Sousuke pulls off the tape over his mouth and cuts the ropes around him with a switch blade. This action however, does not stop Haru from jolting back into a corner away from Sousuke.

“D-don’t touch me,” Haru says, his voice cracking.

Sousuke sighs, “Look, I’m sorry Nanase. I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn’t want you to see that side of me either.”

“W-why are you d-doing this?” Haru asks. His voice is almost inaudible.  

“Who else would I do this for? For Makoto, of course. His happiness and safety are my top priorities.”  Sousuke stares down Haru and his voice drops to a serious demeanor. The sudden change in Sousuke’s voice frightens Haru as he continues to shift against the wall behind him. “If it were anyone else, they would’ve been dead ages ago. But since you’re Makoto’s best friend, I left you alive. I hate seeing Makoto cry, let alone making him cry. The last thing I want is for him to cry over his best friend’s dead body,” he spits out. “So don’t you dare tell him any of this or I will beat the liv-“

Sousuke’s words are cut off suddenly as he whacked in the head by a fiery red head.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing to Haru?!” they shouted.

“Rin, I can explain.”

“Well you better do it fucking quick. I have a bone to pick with you. I come here to visit for a nice relaxing vacation with everyone. To come to hear my boyfriend didn’t show up to practice and that mother fucking Sousuke kidnapped him.”

“Look, I didn’t do anything; the other clan members saw him eavesdropping and kidnapped him shortly after. I was just telling him not to tell Makoto.”

“You fucker! You still haven’t told Makoto yet and now you brought Haru into your shit hole. I thought you told him ages ago when you guys reunited?”

“No, I didn’t. I was planning to tell him today actually, but some newbies assumed Nanase was a spy and decided to kidnap him.”

“What the fuck dude,” Rin sighs. He slowly goes over to Haru- whom leaps at him at full speed. Rin holds him tightly and strokes Haru’s head. Haru buries his face into Rin’s chest, muttering the red head’s name. “Shh, it’s okay babe. This fucker won’t do anything to you, don’t worry.” He brings Haru to the couch where Haru sits on his lap, clinging to his chest with all of his might. Rin wraps his arms around him protectively.

“Sometimes I feel like you’re really the boss around here…”

“What did you say you shit head?” Rin shot back.

“Nothing. Anyway, what should I do now? I probably scared the shit out of Nanase already. He’ll probably end up telling Makoto anyway. Urgh, I don’t know what to do Rin!”

“Well first off, stop being so whiny. This is your own damn fault in the first place. You should have informed all the clan members of all people associated with Makoto. But being the idiot you are, you only cared about letting them trail Makoto that they thought his best friend was a spy. What a fucking dumb ass,” Rin scoffed.

“So you’ve known about Sousuke all along Rin?” Haru murmurs, turning his head to face Rin.

“Yeah, it’s kind of hard to avoid it when you have this jackass as a best friend. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Haru, but you have to understand I didn’t want to drag you into this mess. Apparently that didn’t work since the idiot over here didn’t pass on the right info.” Rin sees Sousuke roll his eyes, so gives him a menacing look that makes Sousuke turn away.

Haru slowly nods his head, trying to process all the information he’s getting bit by bit. “So what is your position in this clan, Rin?” he asks.

“Me? Well I help Sousuke out from time to time, solely on the business portion of the yakuza. I help him collect money and stuff like that,” Rin says as he slowly massages one of Haru’s shoulders as the boy continues to cling to him.

“…Do you beat people too?” Haru whispers.

Rin stops his action, dropping his hand to his side. His lips turn into a fine line. “No… I don’t, thankfully.” He turns to Sousuke, “You might as well explain everything to Haru, Sousuke. You’re only digging yourself a bigger hole by hiding everything. Plus, I think he deserves to know after all the trouble you’ve indirectly caused him.”

Sousuke huffs defeated, “Fine. But because you’re probably the only person in this whole world that could kick my ass…” He shuts his eyes, wondering where to start with everything.

“First, yes. I am a yakuza; the quote-on-quote leader to be exact. I hate this title, but it’s how I’m making money. Rin assists me in collecting debt as he said. But he hates to affiliate himself as one, so he just calls it ‘helping a friend out.’ He helps me avoid making rash decisions, which is why I think he should be the leader instead.

Second, I joined because after my family disowned me, I needed money to survive when I decided to move to Tokyo for Makoto. Even though I despised the yakuza, the Yamada clan took me in with a few conditions. I had to pledge loyalty to the clan and keep their name clean. They knew I wanted to become a cop so it was a game of ‘we scratch your back, you scratch ours.’  After a few weeks, they already appointed me leader because of my exponential work with handling the clan. I wouldn’t go as far to say we are the greatest clan, but there are benefits.

For one, they helped me a lot when I wanted to move next door to Makoto. They found his address (even though I had already got it from Gou), got his neighbor out, and moved me in all in the span of three days.  They also help me watch over him, just in case someone tries to harm him in anyway. I’m very paranoid that he would get attacked or mugged in Tokyo. I just want to protect him.

I want to make up for everything I’ve done to him before. I’m so in love with him that I’d do anything for him. I know I’m obsessed, crazy even, but I want him to be mine. I keep messing up though. Heck, I’m not even attending the police academy yet. It was just a front, so I could be with him. In reality I’m here, dealing with this kind of shit. I’m corrupt, I know. I just keep feeding him lies and I don’t know how to stop. I know he doesn’t love me anymore, but I don’t know how else to make him fall in love with me again…”

“You could tell him the truth first…” Haru says.

“I know, but I’m scared. I’ve never been this scared in my life. I really just want him in my life again, even if I live in a world of lies.”

“Do you think that’s fair to Makoto? He always been honest and you can’t do the same? Makoto wears his heart on his sleeve. And you’ve always told him lies since the beginning. How do you expect to change now? You don’t deserve him at all!” Haru shouts, red in the face.  

“Haru, stop. It’s okay.” Rin says trying to calm him boyfriend down.

“Nanase, I understand what you’re saying. But I can’t deal with the rejection of him not wanting to deal me.”

“You deserve it. You rejected him in the first place,” Haru murmurs.

“Yeah, I did… I know I deserve this, but I want Makoto, only Makoto. I know he deserves better, but I can’t help thinking it might work,” Sousuke says dejected.

“Sousuke, I think you know what to do. You need to talk to Makoto- now. I’ll take Haru home. You figure out what you want to say to him in the meantime. I know you love him, but your love has turned into an obsession and you know it. I don’t even know if you know the difference between wanting him or controlling him. Figure it out and give me a call. I’ll see you later,” Rin says. He picks up Haru bridal style and exits the headquarters.

Sousuke is left alone to his thoughts, knowing what he must do. _I have to tell him._

***

Makoto is pacing back and forth around his apartment in deep thought. He could not believe what he had just read. _Oh my god,_ _Sousuke’s a yakuza?! I can’t bring myself to believe that. But Haru would never lie to me. All the evidence is there. Everything makes sense: the shady men, the matching of schedules, the odd call he just got. I don’t understand why he never told me though… Why is he always lying to me? If he’s a yakuza boss though, does that mean he kills people?? Oh god, what if he really just wants to kill me???_  

He snaps out of his trail of thoughts when he hears the doorbell. _Oh god, oh god. I hope its Haru…_ He looks through the peep hole and quickly backs up. _It’s Sousuke!_ He internally shrieks; his heart beating fast. _What do I do? What do I do?? Maybe he found out I know and he’s here to kill me and dump my body in the Tokyo harbor!! Wait, what if he did something to Haru since he knows too?? Oh my god, I don’t what to do!!_

“Makoto, please open the door,” he hears Sousuke say.

Makoto backs up against his closet and shakes his head. “No, you want to kill me don’t you?? I know you’re a yakuza. Haru texted me everything. Please go away.”

 _“When the fuck did he do that?”_ Sousuke thinks. “Please Makoto, I’m not here to hurt you. I would never hurt you. You have to listen to my side of the story, please. I’ve already talked to Nanase. He’s okay, I promise. He’s with Rin.”

“What do you mean he’s okay?! What did you do to him?!”

“I didn’t do anything. My clan kidnapped him, that’s why I ran off this morning. Please, Makoto. Open the door. I don’t want to have this conversation out here. If it makes you feel safer, you can call Nanase right now and ask him. Please, I want to talk to you. I want to clear up everything.”

Makoto ponders at Sousuke’s words. How could he expect to believe him when everything he’s said up until now has been a lie? He decides to give Haru a call like Sousuke said.

“ _Makoto,”_ Haru answers.

“Are you okay Haru?? Sousuke’s at my door and I want to make sure you’re safe before I let him in.”

“ _I’m fine now. Rin’s taking care of me. Let Sousuke in, you should listen to his side of the story.”_

“Are you sure? Someone’s not making you say these things right?? I’ll call the police if I have too!”

“ _Makoto. It’s fine. Let him in. You two need to have a one-on-one conversation. I’ll check on you in bit, okay?”_

“Okay, Haru chan…”

“ _Stay safe, and stop with the chan.”_

Haru hangs up and Makoto stands in front of the door nervous. He takes a deep breath and slowly unlocks the latch. He peers outside; there stood Sousuke with a discouraged expression: lips downturned, brows furrowed, and eyes glossy.

“Makoto…” he says looking like he wants to pull Makoto into a hug.

“Come in…” Makoto says as they gradually make their way to the couch.  They sit in silence. Makoto is seated even further away from Sousuke than this morning; the atmosphere is tense once again.

“Please make this quick. I don’t know if I feel safe sitting in the same room as you right now Sousuke…”

Sousuke’s heart sank at his words. He closes his eyes, almost ready to cry. He knows he’s already lost Makoto and wonders if he’s words will even change anything.

“Makoto… I’m sorry,” he starts, “I wanted to tell you earlier, I really did. But it was difficult. I couldn’t bring myself to let you know my true self. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

“Why do you always lie to me? I’ve always been honest with you. You should know that only you and Haru are the only ones that know the real me. But you couldn’t do the same for me? I loved you for god sakes!”

“You don’t understand! I want to protect you! I want you to love me! But I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t bear the thought of getting rejected.”

“Well how does it feel now? Do you feel sick inside? Do you feel like you’re not worth it? Do you want to just break down and cry? Because that’s how I felt when you rejected my whole hearted feelings the first time! I don’t even know if you really love me or not now…”

“Makoto, you have to at least trust me on this: I’ve always loved you. I still love you. That was never a lie.”

“What makes you think I’ll believe a liar like you?”

Makoto’s answer angers something inside Sousuke- one that just makes him snap. He grabs onto Makoto by the shoulders and pulls him into a kiss. Makoto is thrashing in his hold, trying to push the man off, but Sousuke’s grip is too strong to break free. Sousuke bites at his lips, shoving Makoto’s body back into the couch. He holds onto both of Makoto’s hands above the other’s head with his dominant hand.

Makoto feels Sousuke’s free hand trail down his abdomen. He gasps at this feeling and Sousuke takes advantage of this to trust his tongue into Makoto’s mouth. Makoto is starting to feel the pleasure growing in his body that he starts to relax. He knows he’s being assaulted, but something in him likes it. His brain is telling his no, but his body is telling him yes.

He suddenly remembers that night; the night where pleasure took over him like now. The night he was left heartbroken. He doesn’t want to be told Sousuke didn’t love again. He doesn’t want to feel the same pain again. He doesn’t want to be played like a fool. He shuts his eyes, stops reacting, and just lies on the couch motionless and stiff. Sousuke notices this and stops kissing him. He lets go of Makoto’s arms and pulls back; both of his hands resting on opposite sides of Makoto’s body.

“Do you believe me know?” Sousuke asks. He is panting hard and his face is a tinted red.

Makoto breaks into tears and mutters, “You’re a jerk, y-you know that.”

Sousuke backs away. His eyes are wide open as he realizes what he has done. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.” His body slouches as he drops to the ground disappointed in himself. He shuts his eyes and tries to think of a way to fix this, but he can’t. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. I just- shit. This isn’t going to work is it Makoto?”

“No, it’s not Sousuke.” Makoto whispers, one hand slung over his face to hide his tears. “I’m sorry.”

Sousuke face scrunches up. He’s ready to cry, but he won’t submit himself to doing in front of Makoto. “No, d-don’t you dare apologize,” he says. He can hear his voice cracking and his eyes are starting to water. “I made this mistake. I’m the one who’s wrong here and you know it. I’m so sorry Makoto… I think… I should leave and never come back. I’m a screw up and you don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you…”

He gets up and takes one last look at Makoto. His smile is faint, but there. He knows Makoto won’t look at him, but he wants to make amends before walking out of Makoto’s life. “I know I could never make it up to you at this point, so I’ll just leave you alone and never come back. Maybe someday you’ll forgive me. I understand if you don’t… But before I leave, I want you to know one thing. Even though I know you don’t love me, I’ll always love you, Makoto. I just-,” his voice breaks as he sucks in air. He frowns as he says his last words, “Goodbye…”

He bows as he takes his leave. He makes his way out of Makoto’s house and stands in front of his door. He fumbles with his keys, but he can’t seem to unlock his door. His vision is blurry and his face feels wet. He blinks a few times and touches his cheek. He feels the tears. He feels the emotions. He feels the sadness. And most of all, he feels the rejection. He slouches against his door, head between his legs, crying in defeat.

_It’s already too late. What’s done is done. I can’t change anything. I’ve lost him. My love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! That was a tough one. Hope you guys enjoyed it! Also I hope no one was too OOC... I'm still thinking of ideas for the next chapter, so it might be a while (not as long as the wait as last time thankfully though). Although, I do have a small break this week because of the holiday. So yay, free time to write and compose ideas! Thanks as always for the support! Ciao!♡
> 
> Edit: Wow! I just realized I have >100 kudos! Thank you guys so much!! *^_^* I really appreciate it!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope those of you in the U.S had a great thanksgiving yesterday! For those of you who don't celebrate it, I hope you guys had a great day! ^_^  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think as always ^_^ there may be about two more chapters remaining. I've had a lot of fun writing this story. Thank you all for the support thus far! Ciao!♡
> 
> EDIT: Wow, I just proofread this chapter again, and shesh lots of errors lol I corrected most of the mistakes. Let me know if you spot anymore. Thanks and sorry about that! I really wanted to release this chapter haha see you guys!

It’s been more than a week since the incident with Sousuke. Makoto has not heard a word from the other male since. _It’s true; he really did remove himself from my life…_ Makoto no longer feels threatened or afraid when he walks to and back home though. He feels peaceful, at ease even. But he can’t deny that he misses Sousuke.

He misses their little “dates.” He misses their late night conversations.  He misses his suffocating hugs. Heck, he even misses Sousuke’s undying dedication to him. _He must have really loved me to want to be everywhere I was. I have to commend him for trying so hard to get me back even if he was crazy… I forgive him, I do. He could have raped me or done even worse that day... But he didn't. He apologized instead. However, it doesn't change the fact that he lied to me about everything else. And to top it off, he’s a merciless yakuza boss..._

“If he hadn't been so shady, but truthful in the first place, I might have actually considered dating him!” Makoto groans. _I feel like I’m in some bad shoujo where the heroine always falls in love with some jerk._ He had to admit, Sousuke was sweet- to him at least. Well before he assaulted Makoto. However, after Haru told him what happened when he was kidnapped, Makoto’s perception of Sousuke was even worse. He couldn’t believe that Sousuke was capable of beating and threatening others. Makoto was stunned by this. It started to make sense after reevaluating Sousuke though.  _Of course, he was only going to be nice to the one he loved… But he was still obsessive overall._

Haru came over a lot throughout the week to check in on him, but he was always with Rin. Makoto recently found out about their relationship and wasn’t too happy that Haru didn’t tell him earlier. In Haru’s defense, he said Makoto had enough on his plate and there was never a good time to tell him. Makoto wanted Haru’s company, but didn’t want to get in the way of the couple’s reunion. Rin has been waiting months to confess to Haru. Now that the man finally had Haru in arms reach, he would not leave the other man’s side until he would go back to Australia next week. Makoto was happy for them really, but he missed hanging out with his hydromaniac best friend.

Even Nagisa and Rei came over. They had been busy with the club and traveling to Tokyo was expensive for mere high schoolers. Makoto really appreciated all the time and money they spent to come see him. They sympathized with him, but they could not begin to understand the struggles he’s been through. They cheered him up though and even took him out to dinner. He was very happy, but they were gone in a flash.

Makoto feels even lonelier remembering the past week’s events. He sighs recalling how he had been left alone once again. He ponders just going back home and visiting Ren and Ran or to just suffer and move on. He hears rustling next door and is curious to what Sousuke is up to. _No, I shouldn’t even be thinking about him anymore. I got what I wanted. He won’t be bothering me anymore…_

But curiosity was too much for Makoto as he leans over to his window to peep outside. _Just a peek shouldn’t hurt…_ What he finds makes his heart sink. Someone new is already moving into Sousuke’s apartment. _When did he manage to move out??_ Makoto thinks. He turns around closing his curtain and heaves a long sigh.

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and is surprised to see who’s calling. He proceeds to answer it.

“Rin?” He says.

“ _Makoto_ ,” Rin replies. His tone is serious and he sounds out of breath.

“What’s the matter Rin? Are you okay? You don’t sound so good.”

“ _It’s not me. It’s Sousuke. He’s been shot._ ”

Makoto drops his phone in that instant. He feels a sharp pain in his chest and he can’t breathe. His heart is racing and he can feel himself shaking uncontrollably.

“ _Makoto? Makoto, are you there? Pick up the phone god damn it!_ ” He hears Rin swear.

Makoto picks his phone back up struggling to stop his hands from shaking, “I-I’m sorry Rin. I just, I can’t- Is he de-” He couldn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t want to. He starts tearing up, whimpering as negative thoughts fill his mind.

“ _Oi, Makoto. It’s okay. He’s not dead. Please don’t cry,”_ Rin says. His voice is soft as he tries to calm his larger friend through the phone.   _“He’s just in critical condition. That guy tried to quit the yakuza and they weren’t too happy about it. After he left the office, an ex-subordinate took a pistol and shot him in his bad shoulder twice. He’s in the hospital right now, sleeping. I thought I’d call to tell you. Don’t think he told me to do any of this because he didn’t. It was out of my own free will to tell you. I’m no way trying to persuade you to go and see him or anything. I just thought you ought to know the current state he’s in. He loves you Makoto. He loves you so much that he’s willing to change. That’s why he quit. For you. Here’s the address and room number if you do end up visiting though.”_

Makoto quickly grabs a pen and paper from his bedroom and quickly writes down the information.

“Thank you Rin,” Makoto replies quietly.

“ _Like I said, you’re not obligated to see him nor am I forcing you to do so. I just want to make it a point that he did do this for your sake. I’m his best friend, so I think I know him the best. When he wants something, that guy will do whatever it takes to obtain it. He told me what happened and he’s still sulking regrettably about it. He knows he can’t have you but he wants you to feel safe,”_ Rin briefly pauses and sighs. _“He may not want you to see him though. He hates showing his weak side especially to someone he loves. Well that’s all I wanted to say. I probably preached too much. Good luck and don’t push yourself too hard okay? Just remember me and all the guys love you. Bye.”_

Rin hangs up and Makoto crashes on his couch. He tries to wipe away his tears, but they won’t stop. He can’t deny it; he’s still in love with him. Even through all the trouble Sousuke has caused him, he knew he couldn’t get over him just like that. He just couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening.

 _It’s like history is repeating itself except Sousuke actually loves me this time._ _Maybe I’m a masochist… I just love to feel pain don’t I?_ He huffs, tired. _I’m so indecisive! First I love him, than I don’t, and now I do. Is it because he’s hurt that I feel the need to protect him? Or is it because he’s shown me so clearly that he is willing to change for me? He actually quit the yakuza… for me? I still can’t believe that. Why would he try so hard for someone who doesn’t love him? But his effort is enough for me and I give him credit for that… I’m so sick of feeling like this already. It’s either I want him or I don’t. I’ve already forgiven him, but if he’s adamant on not seeing me I don’t know what I’d do… I brought this on myself after all and I need to fix it. I think I should go… Moping around all day won’t solve anything._

With that, he was out the door on his way to the hospital where Sousuke was held. It was about a twenty minute train ride from his apartment, so he was happy he could get there so quickly on short notice. He enters the hospital and tries to check in, but the front desk keeps insisting he could not go and see Sousuke.

“I’m sorry, but we are currently only letting immediate family members see Yamazaki sama right now. Please come back for visiting hours tomorrow,” the nurse says.

“You don’t understand, this is really important. I have to see him now,” he begs. He glances behind her and notices the nurse’s calendar of Rin and prays she was a fan. “Um-ugh, R-Rin sent me here,” Makoto says hoping that would make a difference.

“Rin? As in Matsuoka Rin the famous Olympic swimmer??” she says enthusiastically.  “He just visited earlier,” she blushes.

 _Thank god, this will be easier than expected._ “Yes, that Rin. He’s actually one of my good friends,” Makoto says as he leans over the counter. He knew he wasn’t exactly ugly to say the least, so maybe his very little sex appeal would actually come in handy today. “I can actually get you an autograph from him if you want? I mean, only if you want it of course.” _I’m sorry Rin…_

The nurse’s eyes sparkles wide like Haru’s when he sees water and Makoto knew he was set. She lets him through and he briskly finds his way down the hall to where Sousuke was. He finds his room, but is instantly met face to face with two scary looking men in suits blocking the door. They are both standing at a whopping 195cm, hovering over Makoto. Their scowls scare Makoto a bit, but he is not about to be intimidated by these men when he’s already come so far.

“Um, excuse me. Is Yamazaki Sousuke in here?” he says.

“What business do you have with Yamazaki sama?” the one with the bald head says.

“I-I’m one of his friends. T-tachibana. Ma-makoto,” he stutters.

“Mamakoto? Ryo, you see him on the list?” he turns to the man next to him who is holding a clip board.

“No I don’t. I only see the Matsuoka’s. Sorry kid, we can’t let you in. You’re not on the list,” Ryo says.

 “But wait, I need to see him! If he’s awake just let him know Makoto is here. He’ll let me in I’m sure!”

“Sorry, no can do kid. The Yamazaki's made it specifically clear to only allow approved guests on the list. Now scram,” the bald one says. He’s aggressive and Makoto knows not to mess with them.

He is about to turn back when hears the door open and he sees a man exit the room. He recognizes the man right away: Sousuke’s father. He realizes that it’s his father because he has the same droopy eyes and huge build. He is more intimidating, sporting an ‘I’m ready to kill someone’ look. He turns to the body guards and asks, “What’s with all the ruckus? Sousuke just feel asleep.”

“I’m sorry boss, but this kid really wants to see your son,” the bald man says.

“Yamazaki san! I’m glad to see you. I really want to see Sousuke…san. Can you tell them I’m alright so I can go?” Makoto flashes a gentle smile.

Sousuke’s father’s glare hardens. Makoto smile drops wondering what he had said wrong. It clicks and Makoto remembers Sousuke’s parents were very homophobic. “Makoto right?” Makoto slowly nods. “Sorry I cannot do that nor will I not do that. You’re the one to blame for all the problems regarding my son. If it wasn’t for you he wouldn’t be gay. He would’ve never left home and I never would’ve disowned him. He should have already inherited the title as the leader in our clan with his merits. But instead he choose to come all the way to Tokyo for _you_ of all people,” he spits.

“His mother is too caring so when she heard he was shot, she dragged me out here. He was surprised we even came. We made a compromise with him though. If he never sees you again and fully obeys us, we’ll take him back. He quickly agreed saying you hated him anyway. We already arranged for another omiai for him. So do yourself a favor and leave our son alone if you know what’s good for you.”

He shoves Makoto to the side, exiting the hospital. Makoto stands there still, confused, and angry. _That’s a lie. I don’t hate him. I never have. I can’t believe Sousuke’s father could be such an...asshole._ Makoto flinches at the use of the swear word. He's too angry to even think properly. _I have to see Sousuke. I have to clear up everything._ He pulls out his phone knowing a certain red head could help him out.

“Rin, I need a favor.”


End file.
